Life

Last night, before I went to sleep, I suddenly realised that I actually believe in something, and that belief is so strong that I think it is the only value I will keep with me till I rest underground . It is kinship. It suddenly occured to me that despite all the fucked-up thoughts in my mind and the pessimisim bothering my actions, I had always placed my family first, on top of anything else. When I first enlisted in the army, I thought of my parents. In the lonely nights in the in Tekong, I was thinking of their healths and wondering how have they been doing. All these were instinctive, like how a kangeroo will place her young in her pouch and protect it from harm. My parents have actually been my one and only beacon of support. In times of difficulties, although I did not actually speak up to them about all my problems, seeing them gives me strength. I do not want to disapoint my parents by revealing weakness and a lack of enthusiam in life. They not only gave me this life, but also had been selflessly giving me whatever things they could possibly afford. I do not take all these for granted. Treasuring them is my prerogrative, above everything else. I dont wanna regret when they are gone, for blaming myself for not doing enough.
My next aim now is to look for a suitable girl, a girl whom I can spent the rest of my life with. I wanna share with her whatever I have and be her constant pillar of support. I will do whatever I can to make her happy, contented. In life, I believe that having the partner should be the next main thing in a person's life. It is in this partner that you may find the strength not only for survival, but the strength to carry out great dreams, with your partner giving all of herself to support you in whatever ways. That is what family is all about. Give and not thinking about return, and doing all these instinctively, self-consciously, because you truly want your love one to be happy.
I am happy that I found out something very important in my life, because for the past 2 years or more I had only been thinking of either materialistic gains or personal gratifications and dreams. As humans, we must understand that the world is interconnected, and we need each other for survival. Be it friends or kins, it is always very difficult to be living alone in this world. However, I strongly believe that only family can last throughout the whole of your life, and it is family that can truly make a person HAPPY.....